In reflecting on something good that happened today I found myself having a bit of an epiphany about this challenge. The last three days have been rather tiring. Actually… scrap that. The last three days have been the most tiring I have had in months. My daughters early morning wake-up calls may have something to do with that. The point to note here is that I have also been my usual cranky self… but something different is happening this week. I am finding that I am reacting differently. Instead of being a dick… I am acknowledging that I am feeling cranky and frustrated and tired… and everything else that goes along with that… and not being a complete dick. I stress the word ‘complete’. I have come to the conclusion (with the aid of my darling wife) that it is ok to have feelings of being frustrated, tired, cranky… hell, even angry. The point is that I can choose how I react to that. In the past, I have not even reached the point where I acknowledged the feeling. I would just shelve every feeling somewhere and never come back to it. Hence the appearance of being cold and heartless. I’m keen to see how this continues to pan out.
Apart from being a slight inconvenience in walking later in the evening, I am genuinely starting to feel bit better from the walking. And the dogs are loving it. Also stuck to my word and got away from the desk during lunch. Only a short stroll but the fresh air and sunlight have to better than the ambience achieved from the glow of the fluorescent lighting in the office. Also tackled the hill around my neighbourhood tonight… up the steep side. I remember the last time I went up the steep side of the hill I almost died… not tonight.
Definitely feeling more open to the meditation concept. Still having the passing feeling like I could simply slide down the couch and sleep but I feel as though it is getting easier to focus and not to just sit still for a while with my eyes closed.
Three things I’m grateful for today
The support of colleagues in a stressful time. Sometimes we can’t do everything on our own.
Copy/Paste – such a time saver
The Roots – for helping me drown out the ramblings and general noise that goes on in the office so I can bunker down and get some work done.
The random act of kindness for the day was letting someone have my cab. I was heading out to another office of ours and was struggling to get a cab. The family behind me (with all of their luggage in tow) were also struggling to get a cab and were obviously heading to the airport. As their need to catch a plane was probably greater than my need to get to another fucking meeting, I figured they could have the taxi that I managed to hail. I had to wait a whole 60 seconds for the next one! Good deed done.